HexTxt

Being a curious human.

Tech - Home lab experiments, cybersecurity, retro-computing, and more.

Occult - Astrology, tarot, and other magic.

Library - Occult resources available for download.

Prose - My experiments in fiction and verse.

Recent Articles

Natal Nodes Moving Perspective and Finding Answers
25 May, 2025
Below is a compilation of notes I published on Substack this last week.
Natal Chart Insights
Integrating more insights from my natal chart. A so called distraction popped up in silence during this morning’s meditation.
Lunar nodes suggest a past life immersed in mystical or occult school in part to deal with trauma. With an opportunity to evolve and grow via experiencing the sensuality of nature.
Before learning to read my natal chart my intuitive guidance as far as my spiritual path was exactly this idea. Decades of nature immersion plus sensory awareness development and evolving into energetic work. Mostly with and in nature.
Only recently have I been doing any kind of formalized occult practices.
Now I can see where the answer is not to choose one over the other but to integrate both.
I feel this way will open the path forward for both my growth and how I can serve others, also part of my north node.
Moving Perspectives
We moved recently and now live in a town we had been going to for vacations.
The move has turned into an opportunity to experience a place from rather different perspectives. Both the town we left and the town where we now live.
Tourist and resident. Resident and tourist.
I am having a similar experience with learning mundane astrology. Natal versus mundane. Familiar and unfamiliar at the same time.
These shifts in perspective are wonderful mind stretches. Reshaping and expanding my ability to perceive and conceive.
Gathering Information
Lately I have taken to asking people questions if I think they might have the background to offer a useful answer.
More often than not they refer to google.
Fair.
Though the reason I ask is only partly for my education. There is also an opportunity to build a connection in the asking and answering. Just feels like a natural way to connect.
It is All Connection
Need to start writing this stuff down. Things I know but don’t always recall while staring at a blank screen.
Words are coming easier when I think in terms of relationship. Not just between people.
Thinking of the infinite web connecting everything in the cosmos.
Energy work with people trees and animals.
Etc.
Everything has been related to connection.

Sexual Maturity and Energy Awareness
16 May, 2025
This is curious. Just a few minutes ago I was recalling discovering my interest in women as a boy becoming an awkward adolescent. (Who would later become an awkward man around women he didn’t know.)
True to my bookish nature I read everything I could find about women from biology of sexual response in my mother’s college text books to questionable advice in magazines.
I was absolutely fascinated with women.
Around the same age I had begun my journey into what I now consider magick.
Though it started with my interests in psychic phenomena things really took off when I read Castaneda. Took me a year and a half but I eventually did see my hands in a dream!
For some reason I just noticed these parallel paths of my youth.
The magick developed quickly when I went into nature for healing when I was around 30 years old. I found the healing and then some as the energy began to pour through me.
Naturally the creative force showed up in my sexual energy. The doors blown open open by this change in energy were like none I had yet experienced. At the same time it was all very unbalancing and painful.
If I look from a lofty enough perspective? Wow. Supercharged growth.
In order to maintain an intense energy connection with another I suspect partners need to undergo a process. A balancing of sorts. One internal and the other between the partners.
In occult terms balance the Elements. Earth, Air, Fire, Water. Each person when balanced can be present with the partner. Then what arises between them can also be balanced. Fire reactions? Earth reactions. Bringing everything back to center.

The Mystic Side of Life
15 May, 2025
Mystical on the Outside
I have been tossing around the idea of letting my external presentation be a reflection of my internal world. Though not my hair. I really don’t like when my hair gets too long. Why? Partly, but not entirely, to attract clients for services such as astrology or tarot readings. The deeper motivation is I have this desire to sync up my insides with my outsides. I am always exploring ways to find ways into greater depths in the mystical realms. By living even the most mundane aspects of life in a deeply enchanted manner, for example.
What choices for outer appearances are available?
Clothes might be a start. Maybe a themed tee-shirt? Or some kind of subtle jewelry?
Coats are fun and useful on the windy PNW coast beach where I live. Not sure about a super long one like a duster. What do astrologers wear when beach combing? Or more generally modern professional occultists?
Then again clothes might not be the thing. Necklace? Bracelet? Ring? Rune inscriptions?
What am I putting into motion which can be shared? Not specific workings. What general energies and pathways I am exploring?
How am I directing energy moment by moment just living in society? Along those lines I am putting together what I call my Liminal Computer. No electronics. Tarot cards, astrology dice, wooden blocks and shapes, and other curiosities.
Things I can play with at a coffee shop. Strike up a conversation around.
Think I will start with jewelry of some kind. Subtlety has always proven powerful and effective.
I have a pair of black and silver dragon bracelets. Maybe?
AI and Curiosity
AI is a curious phenomena for me. Back in 2015 I took Stanford’s online course in Machine Learning. Found it fascinating in many ways. Lots of statistics and vast matrices doing massive amounts of calculations behind every task.
No doubt much more advanced now. But I suspect the basic idea is close enough to discuss today. A huge statistical pattern recognition and generation engine.
Which is how I see and treat the tool now. I use it to look for patterns in text using text and generating another pattern of text.
What AI doesn’t have though is very important. I saw mention of this somewhere a few days ago.
AI is not curious. Which is fascinating to consider. Where does it come from and what is the energy behind or which makes up curiosity?
I don’t pretend to know the answer to that question.
Curiosity as a force? Feeling into it? Flowing into it? Being of the energy called curious?
Definitely.
Benefits of Meditation
Took me three plus years of consistent daily meditation to get this benefit.
The ability to let go in a heated discussion.
I mean really let go. Not just back away holding on to my certainty of being right.
How meditation helped is the interesting bit.
In the style of meditation I am practicing I pick a theme and explore it. If I get sidetracked I follow the path back to my theme. Noticing the path taken to the distraction.
Which is what it feels like to notice my attachment in a conflict!
Meditation helped me learn how to find my way back to myself. With practice I barely take the first step and am back again. Most of the time.
Twin Flames on Quora
This morning I have been thinking about my experience writing on Quora. My writing was focused on answering questions about Twin Flames and Soulmates. Inspired by my own relationship experience, I shared my perspectives on what turned out to be quite the drama filled topic.
Apparently, this topic can drive views. On average I had around 4-5,000 views a week. Not setting any records but more people reading my writing than I had ever had before or since.
Even had my name in a Quora question about, as I recall, whether Twin Flames were real. Only had one “hate” mail. Someone berating me for not including my wife in my profile picture. Or maybe she was too pretty to be my Twin Flame. I forget. I eventually deleted the account. In hindsight I might have created a more emotionally healthy business of some kind with that audience.
At the time I just couldn’t see myself diving into what appeared to be an endless river of dysfunction. If I were doing it over I see I could have probably switched my focus and kept some of my readers.
Natural Cycle Magic
My natal chart with the South Node in Scorpio 12th House and North Node in Taurus 6th House has me pondering my spiritual path. How to develop my practices in alignment with my chart?
So, this morning I have been thinking through natural cycles as a frame or symbol set for my magic and mystical practices.
Looking into alchemy was a recent inspiration along these lines. Yet, the refinement aspect of the art wasn’t really catching my interest.
What I liked was there were appearances of a cyclical process evident in alchemy. It just took me a few years to realize!
Follow your intuition. Yes, a big lesson. my intuitive practices were pretty much on target before I was unaware of more formal approaches to magic and mystic development. Energy sensitivity and facilitation practices pretty much constantly during daily life. Presence in nature being the foundation.
Now with some background in more formal occult systems another shift feels ready to happen. I’ve learned a bit about ritual and symbols and have developed a strong meditation practice. Might be time to bring all that into a new intuitive approach. From what I can tell I think this shift allows for a smooth integration of natural cycle based systems from the scale of astrology (and bigger) down into natural cycles of microorganisms. Including physics, new and old.
Whatever this turns out to be I am using the working title Natural Cycles Magic and Mysticism. Alright back to surfing the energy wave as I did in my youth! Kind of.

Tools for Learning Astrology
06 May, 2025
Having trouble figuring out astrology? Astrology has taken me years to understand. Probably, one of the more complex subjects I have explored in my life. I had a few difficulties on my path to becoming an astrologer. Here are some ways to get past some of those early stumbling blocks.
First, motivation. As a life-long (at least since I was 9 or 10) cosmic explorer you would think astrology would be a natural for me?
Not the case. Every time I would give it another go I felt like I was an analyst. Like at a hospital or a bank. Numbers everywhere! I am no stranger to numbers or analyzing them. But that is not what I wanted to be doing in my off-time.
Without thinking about it much I eventually stumbled on an approach to astrology that really resonated with me. This discovery process took me years! Ten or fifteen years actually. Maybe more. I don’t remember.
For me, finding Steven Forrest’s books introduced me to a new way, to me, to look at an astrological chart. Astrology as a way to gain insight into my evolution over lifetimes. Everything started making sense. The chart was also much less overwhelming somehow. Growth. All about growth. A reason was what I needed. A compelling reason.
Second, looking up meanings and definitions constantly. Why wasn’t anything sticking in my head. In part, the lacking motivation part was a factor here. Beyond that though is the vast number of interpretations and opinions on what different parts of and relationships in a chart mean!
Though this happened before I began Steven’s books, creating a framework for understanding an astrological chart was my key tool. Finding a way to organize concepts and processes took a while but paid off. I could begin to memorize keywords instead of countless interpretations by others. Turned out Steven’s books already had the frameworks I was developing and were much better than what I had created. So I knew I was on the right track and I switched to his which is when things really took off.
A framework doesn’t need to be and probably shouldn’t be complicated. Planets, signs, and houses associated with certain (few) key words give a starting point for interpreting the chart. You might still need to look up information now and then. When you do though you end up going deeper making more subtle connections. No longer needing to look up basic concept your intuition gets a chance to work. Connecting ideas behind the scenes.
As you continue composing basic interpretations your intuition continues to develop. In time, you don’t need to think about the basics. You have time to see more details. As you practice those levels of interpretation you will find more space in your brain to go even deeper. Without end.
The process reminds me of learning to dance. In my case, Argentine Tango. At first, the overwhelm is total. Social skills, physical skills, music, and more are almost too much.
After a while your mind has time to process the basics. You begin to hear the spaces and beats in the music. Which leads to being able to experience more complex and nuanced movements in relationship to the music and your partner.
Astrology feels a lot like that too. The key is being able to integrate and internalize. In astrology, planets, signs, and houses and how they are used together. Planet in sign in house makes a statement of some sort. You keep going by observing relationships between planets in other signs and houses. Etc. Etc. The complexity looks infinite the further you go down the astrology rabbit hole.
One practice which has helped me enormously with my learning process is meditation. Picking some element in astrology and using it as a theme to explore with meditation is all I do.
For example, this week I am finishing up a series of daily meditations on the signs. I contemplate their meaning one sign per day for 20 minutes. Including how they relate to the different planets and houses. There is easily a few weeks of meditation themes one could use per sign. But one sign per day is enough for now.
When I finish with the signs in a few days I am going to use the planets for meditation themes. Then the houses.
Some of these meditations I have already done in part. I used my natal chart as a source of themes early on in my learning process. Which naturally include some of the same elements as the more methodical approach. Not surprisingly the repeated themes become opportunities to go even deeper. The process is like peeling an onion. More is revealed no matter how many layers get peeled back!
All while focused on the fundamentals. Which is another key. Fundamentals and first principles will take you far in any field of study. Astrology included. It is so easy to get lost in ever increasing complexity. Often self-created. Going back to the basics is how one follows the path of mastery.

Mystical Experiments
06 Mar, 2025
About a year or so ago was when it all started. From somewhere or another I got this idea for experiencing Other as myself and myself as Other.
Like looking at a cloud and the cloud looking back in the way clouds do. You know, actually being the cloud while being me at the same time. No not under the influence drugs.
Or, standing on an ocean beach. Feeling the wind, listening to the crashing surf. From somewhere feeling the ocean as your lover. In your chest, a presence, deep and rapturous.
During my daily meditation I have been exploring deeper into this state. Following a process of emptying myself of thought, sensation, and attachment to symbols reality kind of loosens. Often to greater and lessor degrees a swapping or closing of distance of various kinds happens. Distinction between self and other isn’t so clear.
This is the space I am exploring. Not to get lost in it giving up self to non-self. Present in this place where my brain is not (yet) equipped to manage being.
What might be possible? Can one develop some capacity to maintain the non-dual presence and still act or create change?
Some of my experiments include:
- sensing or imagining sensing the web of connections between all things,
- interacting with the strands of the web, a touch or even drawing strands to each other,
- having out there (other) be in here (self),
- acting internally with out there.
A lot of this seems very similar to holograms. In a way there is something to the idea. Everything present within everything.
The question though is how to be awake from within that state. This is my latest practice. Not just in meditation either.
Can definitely be practiced while taking walks. Self-other experiences can range from the trashcan on the sidewalk to the mountain top in the distance and anything and everything else.
Including a curious idea I had. Ideas! What if thoughts and ideas were as much an other in a duality reality experience as other people?
So if we think of a web which connects everything in existence. With everything in existence reflecting everything else. Add in every thought and idea to that web of connections.
Now this net is unimaginably complex and diverse. How would you even contemplate a tiny patch of it?
Here is where we get drawn beyond everyday experience. Drawn into what is beyond our physical brain. Venturing into what?
Here I will admit my lack of formal spiritual training probably leaves me with a lack of vocabulary for sharing some of these concepts.
Approaching these states throws open some mighty interesting doors. Treating them as other valid ways of perceiving and being suggests maybe we have levels of agency not often realized?
Might it be possible that we are touching into a source of miracles? Where limits of time and space really are not what they are in the “normal” world?
I don’t know. Reaching out and tapping this thread or that one? Pluck one of the threads of creation and what happens?
Certainly, many have gone down this path. The writings of mystics through history and spanning geography affirm the mystic experience is a very human one.

Mystical Tarot
19 Jan, 2025
Looks like this blog could use a new article for the new year! Yes it has been a while since my last update. A lot has happened around both home and blog including on the mystical front.
Moving mostly. From a bustling, busy, noisy Bellingham, WA to a very quiet Long Beach peninsula home, also in WA. After selling one house, buying another, and dodging elk in the middle of the road at three am in the rain and mist I am ready to write again.
On the mystical side my meditations and exploring non-duality have been eye opening. I think I finally figured a few things out regarding reading tarot cards. Thanks to John Gilbert’s “The Doors of Tarot” which is where I found much of what follows.
From the beginning I have been having trouble with tarot. Trouble lasting for years. I just kept running into this block interpreting cards. Whatever cards I selected for a reading looked like they should be helpful in answering whatever question was at hand.
Yet, my mind would blank. Looking at the Little White Book (LWB) was usually what I would do in the end. Which typically let me construct a solid, insightful reading.
Problem was I didn’t find the process satisfying personally and definitely was not what I wanted to be doing with future clients.
Memorizing interpretations? Didn’t work for me either. Too many variations whether I cam up with them on my own or borrowed from other readers. The connection with the cards wasn’t there.
What got me heading in helpful direction was really simple. Pick one word or concept for each card. Memorize and stick with it.
You see it turns out I was doing tarot backwards. If I start with a word or concept I can begin making connections with elements of the card. What I was doing was trying to pull the idea of the card out of the card during the reading.
Symbols –> Keyword, Concept –> Meaning
instead of,
Keyword, Concepts –> Symbols –> Meaning
This one change simplified everything about working with tarot for me.
If we are going to start picking keywords for our cards we now need a way to pick those words. You can actually use pretty much any word for any card you wish. It is up to you.
What I did was use John’s suggestions. One reason was they made sense to me. Another was he did something i thought was quite helpful. He uses a framework for the cards. A structure in which to place the tarot cards.
Though my explorations are suggesting it really doesn’t matter what keywords you pick. The keywords act as a seed or gateway to the symbols on the card. The keywords, framework, and the spread can add context. As far as I can tell one still gets to the destination regardless of the starting point. The card provides the path to the meaning.
This has been an exciting opening for me in tarot. I finally feel like I can help people without any props.
The next step on this path was a doozy. Inspired by Robert Mathiesen’s book "" (you can download his book Microcosmographia Magica here) I started experiencing the tarot cards for lack of a better word, mystically. In other words Union with the tarot card.
While meditating on each of the major trump cards I added in experiencing the cards without layers of perception. Emptying myself of meanings I hold for the cards and the symbols on them. Letting go of words and thoughts. All while stretching into an ineffable sense of the card beyond the card and beyond “Me”.
Kind of a swapping vantage points with the card. We each are perceiving the other but as the other. Or as one? Very mystical.
More so, the connection itself is a thing I can experience in the same manner. Whatever it is I feel is my connection with the card I can empty myself and go beyond words, thoughts and sensation to reach into and touch in a different manner.
As I continue I am getting a deeper sense of the cards. Not always explainable. More curiously I am getting a deeper sense of myself.
There is a wordless, so far, meaning. A meaning pointing I suspect to grand vistas beyond what I am capable of even imagining. Looks like fun.

Using Your Intuition to Discover Your Niche
24 Mar, 2024
Confession time. I didn’t write anything yesterday. Today? I don’t feel like writing. Which means I am going to write and publish something if it kills me. Good for developing focus of Will if nothing else.
Setting expectations with myself is important. Also, like most of the rest of my life the thing I am avoiding is exactly the thing I most need to experience. Once started it will probably feel good with an energy of its own to carry me to the end.
Of note, I may have made a big improvement regarding computer monitor eye fatigue. A situation which has been causing me pain and discomfort every day since I started using my computer after the recent four month tech detox/break.
While I have experimented with a few different approaches such as adjusting blue light and brightnesss about an hour ago I tried something simple. Something which finally made a very noticable difference.
I lowered the window shade.
There was a lot of glaring light coming from under the shade covering the window behind my desk. All I had to do was Iower the shade until there was zero light out from the bottom.
Problem solved! I hope. Like I said this was over an hour ago. The good news is my eyes are still not killing me! Yeah they are a bit tired but I expected to have a head ache and throbbing exhausted eyes by now.
No headache and just a bit of dryness.
Gonna call it a win.
As far as, Using Your Intuition to Discover Your Niche. Let me refer to my own checkered web publishing adventures as an example.
As of today, I have four wordpress sites up and running. This blog, a general tech blog, a blog specifically for programming languages which use a REPL, and a fan site for the Aikido dojo I attend.
Since about 2003 I have had what feels like an endless stream of web sites. Most, I wanted to have become a business. Trying to do all the things your supposed to do to be successful with an online business. Yet, never making more than a buck or two here and there.
Yes, I’ve made every mistake there is to make. More than once.
Why so many blogs? Many would say having more than one is too much. I agree, it is tough to to keep one going let alone four. But my goal is not to have four blogs. Nope, I want to figure out what topic to focus on , or, my niche. Who am I serving?
As for these four current sites, they represent long held interests I want to explore.
The Aikido site, while a new interest, isn’t going to take much of my time. I am hosting it to help potential students find the dojo. Mostly, with just a front page.
The other three sites are about topics in which I have long had interests. Self-improvement, the occult, and mysticism would all be on thi blog. With tech and programming on the other two. With the tech site I could be both writing articles and maybe creating small web apps.
As I have been vacillating between tech and personal growth for way too long I am going to do both and see which one I enjoy more and spend more time on.
I would like to do both on the same site. Multiple times in the past I have attempted to do so. But it never works out. Mostly, for psychological reasons. Fears of various kinds pop up. Directing my attention to or away from one path or the other. Plus, I have this feeling the combination of topics might be jarring for readers. I know it is for me and I am the writer!
Time to let the fear go. I am just going to embrace my situation. Yeah, occult studies are a big part of my life. I used to be able to really go deep into programming. Can I get back into programming? Will I have something valuable to offer?
I don’t know. Most recently I have been researching ideas for simple web apps I could create. Haven’t come up with anything I like yet.
Writing these semi-random posts though does seem to be something I can do. Not sure where they will end up but who knows?
In order to make more progress I am hoping to restart a practice to jump start my creative abilities. The practice is simple. I came across it James Altucher’s book, “Choose Yourself”.
All you need to do to become an idea machine is start writing down ten ideas a day.
Lists of ideas? Yep, and they can be about anything at all. Business ideas, articles ideas, book ideas, investment ideas, what to name a goldfish, tricks your pet rock can do, and on and on.
The point is not to come up with anything useful. No, we want to train our brains to not kill ideas before they are born! There might be a few sparkles of brilliance but most of what gets written down will be slag. Which is exactly how it works.
After doing this exercise for a while the ideas will flow. At some point an idea may even be good enough to try out. Or, maybe share with someone.
Yes! Ideas can be for others.
Just don’t expect anything in return. For some reason expectation will kill the process. Nope just let them come to you and write them down.
How about an example idea list?
What are ten topics I could write about?
- Duality and Non-duality While Walking at the Marina
- Aikido as Healing Art
- Soulmate ESP
- Energy Healing from a Distance
- Retro Game Programming
- Healthcare Analytics with Python and Excel
- Python Programming and MS Excel
- Python and Chat GPT Autoblogging
- Tarot Reading with the Hero’s Journey
- Visualizing Tricks, Active Imagination
Some of these I have already used for articles. Some are too generic. Though they can be the seeds of other lists of ideas. In fact, any idea can be the seed for another list of ideas.
Just keep going until there’s nothing else to write down.
Spoiler Alert: There is always something else to write down. Not only can you go more in depth with an idea you can also go wider.
Connect any idea with other ideas. Do the same with those new ideas. Until your fingers cramp and you can’t see straight.
Just keep making a list everyday. That’s all you need to do.
After you’ve got your idea machine running?
Try stuff!
Which brings me back to finding your niche. Everyone says pick a niche. For business. For blogs. For everything. The world loves a specialist.
Well to be quite frank that didn’t work with me. In fact, trying to do thigns the way everyone else was doing them kept me stuck and going nowhere. Thing is I think the advice I was reading and attempting to take was great advice!
Instead of giving myself a hard time for not being able to do what others appear to be successful doing, i.e. picking a niche to focus on, etc. I am going to NOT pick a niche.
Not right away, anyway. No. I am going to keep coming up with ideas. Do and keep doing. Try and keep trying. Until I can say, “I love writing about/focusing on/solving problems in ____!”
Maybe that means I blog about personal and spiritual growth. I might also write web apps solving problems for single person companies. Or, python programming tutorials.
If you have a hard time focusing on a niche you might consider not trying to focus. Let youself experiment and see what you love and enjoy most!
I can’t say taking this path will help you make money as I am not yet making money following my own advice. What I can say is allowing myself to discover while doing is much more satisfying and fun. I feel like I might even have a shot at discovering a way I can have the freedom of an internet business. By letting myself learn and explore guided by my intuition.

Writing More
21 Mar, 2024
Developing new habits or practices can be tough. One I am restarting is writing. My goal with this blog is to begin writing daily, again.
One outcome of daily writing is to hopefully discover ideas I could turn into micro-businesses. That’s not the only reason for the new writing practice. Clarity of my thinking is the larger goal. Clarity of insight into my own mind.
Why share my writing with you? Why would you consider a similar practice?
That’s a tough question to answer in some ways. Others who have done the thinking outloud in public practice say they got a lot out of it. I suppose being able to get feedback from readers can help clarify one’s thoughts even more. Very few people actually comment relative to the number of readers. Makes understanding what others are thinking about what you write more difficult.
Reader feedback regarding personal thoughts and feelings is a chalenge on its own. One’s feelings are one’s feelings. Nothing to defend or justify. They just are.
As far as thougths and ideas I am usually exploring. Which is much less about being right or wrong as being curious. Not everyone gets that especially online. Thus comment moderation.
The edgy, scary feeling of exposing one’s inner world to the outer world is present. Being fear based though makes it a good reason to go ahead and click the publish button. Take that, Mr. Fear!
For that matter, people commenting is also one of those fear things. Ahhh, they are going to say mean things about me! Getting over being invested in what people think of you is another reason to write and publish.
Maybe it is my age, turning 58 this year, but I have found myself letting go of being concerned with other people’s reactions to my choices. Especially, after going through the Covid years. Wow, trial by fire! Pushing back on bad public health policies and unethical medical mandates was a huge personal challenge.
Generally speaking, being concerned with people’s opinions turns out to be a poor investment of my time and energy. Let alone letting there fear and delusion impact how I live my life.
As far as my problem solving tool making side I have another website, https://hextxt.com. Hextxt is where I am keeping my technical notes and little hardware and software experiments. I have found having those notes on the Internet handy. Mostly, I am using it to be able to access configurations for different projects or systems here at home. Keeping them on my own public web site makes access by any device a super convenient resource.
Last night, I was brainstorming web application ideas before bed. I did get quite a few out of my head. Using Caddyserver as my webserver makes adding the apps as subdomains off the main site super easy. WordPress blog as the main site and Phoenix Liveview apps on their own subdomains.
Back to the theme of this post. Writing more. It is alot like how brainstorming last night trying to come up with 75 or 100 ideas was a lot easier than just trying to come up with one great idea.
The more you write the less stinky stuff you have to wade through to get to the good stuff. Our internal editors are way to good at their jobs! To the point they get in the way of getting anything out of our heads.
So here I am with thoughts to share with you, today. Clearing stinky mind sludge so one day I can share some rich compost from my mind garden.
Just keep writing is the key. Which I am not doing very well at the moment. Attempting to compose something palatable on the first draft just gets in the way. You gotta let the junk flow with the gold.
Topic wise, I am definitely drawn to self-improvement or personal growth. Writing about the occult is really one of my core interests. How do so? Been working on that one for quite some time. One of my role models is John Michael Greer at https://ecosophia.net. Love his work. The only problem is I am not him! He is a far better and vastly more expereinced writer and thinker than I am.
Sometimes I catch myself comparing my writing to his. Not a good idea. My voice and interests are unique. Developing your own voice and sharing your unique perspective on whatever you decide to write about is why people read your work. Being a copy of someone else really doesn’t come off well.
Writing more is how you are able to get to that point of uniqueness of voice and perspective.
Personal growth and mysticism specifically are where I see myself focusing for a while. Mysticism though feels hard to write about. Sharing personal experiences can be helpful for others. At the same time our heads can do funny things to us in the sharing. Pretty much, one way or another, it turns into a big ego trip.
Ego trips are pretty much huge distractions. Maybe more writing will help with figuring out what to share.
One are that is full of possibility in both personal growth and mysticism is over coming challenges and dealing with failures or weaknesses. So much material available!
How personal to get? I will probably need to come up with some guidelines. Most of us don’t want to admit our weaknesses while many people do enjoy rolling in others muck.
Again, comment moderation will help. Trolls are never helpful in conversations.
One fear I used to have which is much weaker now is sharing about my very unusual spiritual and occult life. Took me forever to get to where I didn’t llet other people’s opinions of my beliefs derail me. My answer was to be silent. Being silent is actually a very good thing with a lot of these practices. Build effectiveness. There is power in silence!
Only I was reading and learning from others on similar spirtual paths. They weren’t being silent. How do I resolve this apparent conflict if I want to share and help others?
What one shares is part of the answer. Sharing specific workings is just not a good idea. No reason to take the chance someone will decide to mess with your project.
Sharing more generally though? Sure. Techniques, discoveries, and such all feel like the kind of thing worth sharing.
I think that is about it for today. Got a little less sludge in my writing pipes. If all goes well, see you again tomorrow. Thanks for reading.

Writing and Blogging to Learn and Grow
17 Mar, 2024
Life is all about change and growth. For some of us it can be hard to see. Others? Everyday there is a new and more evolved person in the mirror.
After more than twenty years I feel like one aspect of my life has finally grown and evolved! What took me so long to grow?
Writing and blogging!
Yep, I kept trying to turn this blogging phenomena we see on the Internet into a business. One thing after another though kept getting in my way.
From the outside the flailing about I was doing might have looked like a massive amount of indecision. Most obvious in the number of different domain names I have used over the years.
The domain name as of today is one I had until about 2017. Yes, I lost this domain name after it just started to show promise. For some reason, possibly being depressed or something, I just didn’t renew it.
Not long after, someone picked it up when it became available as it had some big sites pointing at it. Which is helpful for ranking in search engine. So until I found it available a few weeks ago it was pointing at an Asian gambling site. Though offered for sale a well I didn’t want to pay the minimum bid price to get it back.
So off I went wandering around repeatedly changing domain names for years. Partly trying to find my perfect niche. My passion I could write about to help people. Failing year after year after year. Partly, trying to find the perfect brand name. Also failing year after year, in this case to meet my own expectations for a brand name.
What was going on?
At a more meta level my mind was avoiding being uncomfortable by making a choice and sticking with it. On a more nuanced or detailed level there were some real factors working against me.
In the last week I finally figured out an important piece. Though it wasn’t the realization that was key. A number of changes have helped lay the ground work. Physical health for one. Getting more than 3-5 hours of sleep a night really helps!
Plus, I have a set of daily routines including meditation and other spiritual practices. Which are a big reason why I was able to realize what I needed to do next with blogging and writing in general as a business.
Then there is the pattern in my life from childhood. Nothing works unless I take a spiritual growth perspective on it. How everyone else does a thing is guaranteed to no t work for me.
Which in the case of blogging meant stop trying to niche my writing. Don’t be concerned with what the search engine companies say is important.
I love that this domain name might now have a part of its history the search engines do not like. I can’t get lazy and hope people find me on search. No, I have to go find my readers. When I create helpful books and courses I have to go find my customers.
This domain name choice forces me to both keep my name out in the world and interact with my readers or potential readers.
Out of all that healing and re-framing of my life, beliefs, and writing I came to a conclusion. I will make progress by being my first reader and customer.
In other words, I am going to write and share on this blog what I am thinking and doing to become a provider of helpful writing. In the process, I expect for example to uncover within my writing what topics I want to write about. Both here on this blog and in any products I create to help readers I will discover through writing on this blog each step I need to take.
Why do I think this will work?
Because I am already seeing results!
A big change is in finding ideas to write about. As of today, momentum is building. More ideas are showing up for blog posts. I am not saying I am getting more than I can write about.
There isn’t a raging river of them. Just a trickle. I can feel the flow getting easier. Which is telling me I am heading in the right direction.
For now, this blog may appear to have a bunch of random topics tied together by a thread of spiritual and personal growth.
Over time I expect I will settle into some topics in which I can be a prolific writer. Sharing my experiences as I continue learning and growing as a human.
A second and just as important change I can already feel has to do with my writing voice. When I am writing I am finding words and expressions coming to me with much less effort. Ideas flow while writing with less friction. How I express myself in writing feels more natural.
Writing daily is helpful in this voice finding process. But it wasn’t enough for me on its own. My daily writing has to be part of my spiritual path. Regardless of what I am writing about the greater goal is to reveal myself more clearly to myself.
Becoming authentic in print might be a good way to describe what is happening. Not being authentic with yourself can really get in the way of most things you want to achieve in life. Because even if you reach your goals, when you get there you look around wondering why you aren’t happy with your success.
This second change, looking for authenticity, my writing voice, all starts with me. Only to get there I can’t just decide what my voice will sound like. No, I must write.
Not only must I write I need to publish what I write. Even if it isn’t what I think my best writing should be.
Writing is a two way street. There is what I write going one direction. Feedback from readers is the return path. Knowing what resonates with others helps me fulfill the service aspect of blogging.
Do people get something from the words I publish?
Of course, there is a balance. I don’t want to write just what people want to read. I am not a mimic of pop culture thought and beliefs. Quite the contrary.
On the other hand, expressing myself in ways people can understand and appreciate regardless of whether they agree is something I want to be able to do. Since clarity of thought is important to me writing in ways people can understand helps not only my audience but me as well.
Why then am I blogging?
- To improve my thinking.
- To reveal to myself my deeper interests.
- To help my readers by sharing ideas and encouragement.
- To be able to create products which my customers will find far greater value in purchasing than the money they pay me.
- To continue to grow and learn along my spiritual path.
I hope, if you find something in this post that resonates, you will consider leaving a comment. Why do you write or blog? Why do you read blogs?

Alchemy of Aikido
17 Mar, 2024
FYI: This blog post started out with the intention to think through the process of creating our own martial art. Instead, we found ourselves thinking about the spiritual alchemy one might find practicing Aikido! Fodder for future writing, no doubt.
Ever wonder how a martial art gets started. I mean at some point in time someone thought to formalize their evolving style of fighting. Eventually, it even gets a name.
What if you wanted to invent your own martial art?
I’ve been thinking about this lately. Last month my Aikido instructor commented before class. He said we were inventing our martial art.
Since then I have been thinking more and more about what it would take for me to come up with my own fighting system. Which is kind of funny since I don’t have any combat or street fighting experience.
But that’s okay. Martial arts can be about more than dealing death and destruction to one’s mortal enemies. The head instructor at the dojo being a good model for such an approach.
One of the things I like about how I am learning Aikido is that it is not focused on the martial application. Which I imagine some would find odd or even nonsensical. Turns out though that I feel like I am getting a better feel for the techniques.
Basically, what we are doing is starting with the sensitivity, spiraling motions, tuning into the hara, being completely aligned in our body and with our partner, and not interfering with the partners motion, direction or force, at all.
After spending 6 months getting all that developed something fun has started to happen. The various techniques I was learning in other instructors classes are revealing themselves!
Even more fun is techniques show up naturally as part of movement with the partner. They have a meaningful context. Which to me means my ability to apply a technique in a more free form encounter is improving quite a lot now.
Back to inventing your own marital art. Using the evolution of Aikido for ideas I am getting a start at how to develop a system of my own.
Of course, I don’t have decades of experience so I am going to treat this as a fun exercise for now. Worth going through not just for fun but as a way to find new perspectives and ways of thinking about martial arts and Aikido in particular.
For me, spiritual philosophy and perspectives are important. My primary motivation for pretty much everything I do in life is personal spiritual growth. Including, learning Aikido.
What core philosophy or belief system would I choose? If I wanted to be able to teach others I think it would be important to not be too focused on a particular religion or formal belief system.
Maybe looking at what the point of the martial art is in the first place is where to start. Like Aikido, bringing harmony to disharmony? Not seeking to harm an opponent if possible? Maybe, resolving opposing forces?
Okay, that’s good enough for now.
Now for the physical side of the art. Let’s pick some fundamental motions to study in our training. We observe everything in the Cosmos is moving. (Other than matter cooled to absolute zero?)
Most of it, with the proper perspective, you find is spiraling in some manner. Alright. Also, like Aikido, spirals are important. If we look more specifically at the human body we even find spirals and potential spirals in our anatomy! Twisting wrists and arms for example.
Spirals it is then.
What have I learned in my spiritual practices and Aikido which would be good to include in my new martial art?
The hara is a big one. There are effectively three. A hara below the naval, another centered in the shoulder girdle, and a third in the skull. Each are centers of movement. They can spiral and also be the center of a spiral.
The lowest hara is probably the best known. It is the center of gravity for our physical body and also where the Will is concentrated. In Aikido learning how to connect this hara with one’s partner’s hara is a fundamental principle.
I feel like even this short list of ideas is a pretty good start. Though it is pretty much Aikido. Which is why as I’ve been exploring I am wondering if Aikido can be seen as much as a template as it is a specific system?
Instead of inventing a brand new martial art what about taking foundations of Aikido and mixing them with one’s personal philosophy or spiritual practices? Or even taking the concepts into other established systems? With more experience I think there might be some illuminating experiments one might conduct!
But all this thinking isn’t enough to get us to a martial art. Time in the dojo is important, too! What I’ve described so far with all the spirals and such would look a dance. In fact, that is what my instructor, Rob Staveland, picked Hara Dance for his web site name.
A dance though with something extra. The clarity that comes from the martial aspect and expectations. Dealing with a knife, a sword, or a fist adds a clarification and purification process to the practice.
Taking it further, here is a brand new idea for me. Maybe there is an alchemical process happening? This martial art alchemy is happening within each individual, between partners, and even within the class and dojo itself.
Whoa. Very cool.
Martial and spiritual practices leading to an alchemy of the hara. Or something. There are all kinds of possibilities to explore when we consider spiritual alchemy might be happening.
I wonder if other martial arts have such a thing? Alchemy of Karate?
Thinking through this there seems to be a lot of potential in the Aikido as a template idea. What little I read of the Founder and his creation of Aikido, he appeared to be guided a lot by his spiritual practices. Being able to mix the martial and the spiritual was pretty amazing.
I also think there is a lot of territory to explore when it comes to energy bodies or planes. There are physical and ki energies of course. Thinking about astral and mental body (in a more neo-platonic model) opens up some fascinating possibilities. Let alone duality and non-duality between partners, the environment, the self, and so much more.

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